motherhood

Yesterday we did some major baby stuff shopping.
I haven't ever been a fan of anything pink but I have to admit it's growing on me. As Matt and I looked at bedding, I surprised myself by liking a lot more of the old fashioned very traditional pink stuff as opposed to the more modern stuff. (Then again the more modern stuff was organic and much more expensive).
It's hard to believe in just a little over a month there will be a little baby wearing all these cute clothes, sleeping in the newly decorated crib (thanks again for the crib Jeff & Jenn), and using all the diapers we have been stocking up on for months. Even with the constant kicking of this little person inside me, it still seems surreal that I will be a mom soon. I think about motherhood a lot.
It was 6 years ago yesterday that my mom passed away. So shopping for baby stuff and preparing to be a mom yesterday seemed especially significant. In the last 7 months I have learned to appreciate my mom on a whole different level. The morning sickness, the leg cramps, the long nights of tossing and turning searching for a position that will be comfortable for more than 5 minutes, the baby kicking, little feet and legs inserting themselves beneath my ribs, the decreased bladder control, the anticipation of this little person has all heighten my love for my own mother. I am sure an even deeper level of love and adoration will develop after our little baby is born. But for now I am just in awe of my mother and all the mothers out there who go through so much to bring these little people into the world.
Woman are amazing! There are so many woman I admire and my mom tops that list. My mom was amazing. Her death was completely unexpected and hasn't been easy to deal with. She was one of those people who makes you feel so comfortable and like you're her best friend. She was my best friend. Even through those teen years where most teens are embarrassed and hate their moms, I loved hanging out with my mom. I really could go on and on about the amazing woman she is but it's getting too hard to type with the tears streaming down my face (darn pregnancy hormones), so in closing when I start getting too worried about motherhood I just think about what a good example I had and if I can be half the mother she was, I think our baby will be alright. Thanks mom!